Why is Avatar: The Last Airbender so good? Why are the second and third Matrix movies… not? Why do all Star Wars storm troopers wear masks in the original movies and why does it matter when they take them off in Force Awakens? Is it important that John Constantine in the Sandman comics becomes Johanna Constantine in the tv show?

Does it make a difference who Shepherd romances in the Mass Effect games? Should it?

Do Orcs need to be evil?

I would love to say that I am going to answer all of these question, but at best I am going to think about them, in print, on your dime. My father read me The Hobbit for the first time when I was six or so, and a love of fantasy was permanently engraved in my soul from that day. We watched the movies together over forty years later, and both loved them and tore them apart in the car afterwards. My favorite part remains the dwarves singing songs and washing dishes, which took me back to my father singing those same words as I fell asleep.

“On your dime,” by the way, is an expression that means talking on a call from a pay phone that somebody else is paying for. Does that phrase still mean something now that pay phones are a thing of the past, and dimes are close behind?

Let’s find out.